truffaux

In the New Year I'm trying to be more reductive in my thinking; surely the year will only get older. For example, which is superior? "Truffle Hog: Keen sense of smell; Innate ability to sniff out truffles; Tendency to eat truffles once found. Truffle Dog: Keen sense of smell; Must be trained; Easier to control; may urinate on truffles." The female pig's natural affinity for truffles is, unsurprisingly, directly linked to her tendency to eat them upon discovery, because they smell like pheremones and she will confuse alimentary satiety with sexual satisfaction. So is truffle oil made from pig pheremones? Which is the original, and which the copy? What would Judith Butler say? The truffles respond synecdochally: "We shall by morning / Inherit the earth. / Our foot's in the door." Verily, such fungus may one day eat us.

My linguistic landscape is increasingly peopled by those syntactical leaps that approximate what grammarians might call anacoluthon, whatever that is. I feel, perhaps illogically, like a logical scandal. Having this irregular schedule was fun at first, but now it's getting ridiculous; my alarm clock is just for decoration.