Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Socrates and the Dung Beetle Discuss the Local Foodshed
ΣΩΚ. Indeed, it is just, you know, on the one hand, to eat only food produced within a 100-mile radius of one's household, and on the other hand to not waste any part of the plant or animal, "snout to tail, root to shoot," so to speak; but is it not the case, ὠ κανθαρε, that such virtue is more difficult for a single working mother who finds she can better stretch her food dollar at FoodsCo than at the farmer's market, than for a creature who literally eats the waste of other creatures?
ΚΑΝ. Let me first say, on the one hand, what it is I ought to say, and then on the other hand to say it: dung is one of the most nutrient-dense foods out there. Also, if people used fewer cell-phone minutes, they could probably afford enough Dapple Dandy pluots to make a batch of delicate but robust brandy, so as to intoxicate the citizens, so as to impair their judgment, so as for them to think they are doing good for the democracy.
ΚΑΝ. Let me first say, on the one hand, what it is I ought to say, and then on the other hand to say it: dung is one of the most nutrient-dense foods out there. Also, if people used fewer cell-phone minutes, they could probably afford enough Dapple Dandy pluots to make a batch of delicate but robust brandy, so as to intoxicate the citizens, so as to impair their judgment, so as for them to think they are doing good for the democracy.
Thoreau Weaves A Yarn
Having seen his industrious white neighbors so well off, - that the lawyer had only to weave arguments, and by some magic wealth and standing followed, the Indian had said to himself: I will go into business; I will weave baskets …
I too had woven a kind of basket of delicate texture, but I had not made it worth any one’s while to buy them.
Up comes the cotton, down goes the woven cloth; up comes the silk, down goes the woollen; up come the books, but down goes the wit that writes them. A woman's dress, at least, is never done.
I too had woven a kind of basket of delicate texture, but I had not made it worth any one’s while to buy them.
Up comes the cotton, down goes the woven cloth; up comes the silk, down goes the woollen; up come the books, but down goes the wit that writes them. A woman's dress, at least, is never done.
Monday, April 19, 2010
wheat from the chaff
Once a week I volunteer at a Berkeley elementary school garden. Recently I was consigned to clean seed.
Encroaching Crowd of Noisome Children: What are you doing?
Me (winnowing away): Basically getting rid of the useless stuff to isolate the viable genetic material.
Beautiful Aryan Girl: Can I help?
Me: Sure!
Encroaching Crowd of Noisome Children: What are you doing?
Me (winnowing away): Basically getting rid of the useless stuff to isolate the viable genetic material.
Beautiful Aryan Girl: Can I help?
Me: Sure!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
shower scene
While I was away, a tiny spider spun a web between my Kinerase and the window frame; he had caught a tiny fly; as I showered I watched the spider agitate his prey, spinning it up in a bundle or whatever it is they do to make their food into food, and the whole tiny web was shaking, and then the fly dropped down to the windowsill, wasted; I hate when that happens.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
fan mail
THE following Letter will explain it self, and needs no Apology.
SIR,
'I am one of that sickly Tribe who are commonly known by the Name of Valetudinarians, and do confess to you, that I first contracted this ill Habit of Body, or rather of Mind, by the Study of Physick. I no sooner began to peruse Books of this Nature, but I found my Pulse was irregular, and scarce ever read the Account of any Disease that I did not fancy my self afflicted with. Dr. Sydenham's learned Treatise of Fevers threw me into a lingring Hectick, which hung upon me all the while I was reading that excellent Piece. I then applied my self to the Study of several Authors, who have written upon Phthisical Distempers, and by that means fell into a Consumption, 'till at length, growing very fat, I was in a manner shamed out of that Imagination. Not long after this I found in my self all the Symptoms of the Gout, except Pain, but was cured of it by a Treatise upon the Gravel, written by a very Ingenious Author, who (as it is usual for Physicians to convert one Distemper into another) eased me of the Gout by giving me the Stone. I at length studied my self into a Complication of Distempers; but accidentally taking into my Hand that Ingenious Discourse written by Sanctorius, I was resolved to direct my self by a Scheme of Rules, which I had collected from his Observations. The Learned World are very well acquainted with that Gentleman's Invention; who, for the better carrying on of his Experiments, contrived a certain Mathematical Chair, which was so Artifically hung upon Springs, that it would weigh any thing as well as a Pair of Scales. By this means he discovered how many Ounces of his Food pass'd by Perspiration, what quantity of it was turned into Nourishment, and how much went away by the other Channels and Distributions of Nature. Having provided myself with this Chair, I used to Study, Eat, Drink, and Sleep in it; insomuch that I may be said, for these three last Years, to have lived in a Pair of Scales. I compute my self, when I am in full Health, to be precisely Two Hundred Weight, falling short of it about a Pound after a Day's Fast, and exceeding it as much after a very full Meal; so that it is my continual Employment, to trim the Ballance between these two Volatile Pounds in my Constitution. In my ordinary Meals I fetch my self up to two Hundred Weight and a half pound; and if after having dined I find my self fall short of it, I drink just so much Small Beer, or eat such a quantity of Bread, as is sufficient to make me weight. In my greatest Excesses I do not transgress more than the other half Pound; which, for my Healths sake, I do the first Monday in every Month. As soon as I find my self duly poised after Dinner, I walk till I have perspired five Ounces and four Scruples; and when I discover, by my Chair, that I am so far reduced, I fall to my Books, and Study away three Ounces more. As for the remaining Parts of the Pound, I keep no account of them. I do not dine and sup by the Clock, but by my Chair, for when that informs me my Pound of Food is exhausted I conclude my self to be hungry, and lay in another with all Diligence. In my Days of Abstinence I lose a Pound and an half, and on solemn Fasts am two Pound lighter than on other Days in the Year.
I allow my self, one Night with another, a Quarter of a Pound of Sleep within a few Grains more or less; and if upon my rising I find that I have not consumed my whole quantity, I take out the rest in my Chair. Upon an exact Calculation of what I expended and received the last Year, which I always register in a Book, I find the Medium to be two hundred weight, so that I cannot discover that I am impaired one Ounce in my Health during a whole Twelvemonth. And yet, Sir, notwithstanding this my great care to ballast my self equally every Day, and to keep my Body in its proper Poise, so it is that I find my self in a sick and languishing Condition. My Complexion is grown very sallow, my Pulse low, and my Body Hydropical. Let me therefore beg you, Sir, to consider me as your Patient, and to give me more certain Rules to walk by than those I have already observed, and you will very much oblige
Your Humble Servant.'
This Letter puts me in mind of an Italian Epitaph written on the Monument of a Valetudinarian; Stavo ben, ma per star Meglio, sto qui: Which it is impossible to translate.
In answer to the Gentleman, who tempers his Health by ounces and by Scruples, and instead of complying with those natural Sollicitations of Hunger and Thirst, Drowsiness or Love of Exercise, governs himself by the Prescriptions of his Chair, I shall tell him a short Fable. Jupiter, says the Mythologist, to reward the Piety of a certain Country-man, promised to give him whatever he would ask. The Country-man desired that he might have the Management of the Weather in his own Estate: He obtained his Request, and immediately distributed Rain, Snow, and Sunshine, among his several Fields, as he thought the Nature of the Soil required. At the end of the Year, when he expected to see a more than ordinary Crop, his Harvest fell infinitely short of that of his Neighbours: Upon which (says the fable) he desired Jupiter to take the Weather again into his own Hands, or that otherwise he should utterly ruin himself.
SIR,
'I am one of that sickly Tribe who are commonly known by the Name of Valetudinarians, and do confess to you, that I first contracted this ill Habit of Body, or rather of Mind, by the Study of Physick. I no sooner began to peruse Books of this Nature, but I found my Pulse was irregular, and scarce ever read the Account of any Disease that I did not fancy my self afflicted with. Dr. Sydenham's learned Treatise of Fevers threw me into a lingring Hectick, which hung upon me all the while I was reading that excellent Piece. I then applied my self to the Study of several Authors, who have written upon Phthisical Distempers, and by that means fell into a Consumption, 'till at length, growing very fat, I was in a manner shamed out of that Imagination. Not long after this I found in my self all the Symptoms of the Gout, except Pain, but was cured of it by a Treatise upon the Gravel, written by a very Ingenious Author, who (as it is usual for Physicians to convert one Distemper into another) eased me of the Gout by giving me the Stone. I at length studied my self into a Complication of Distempers; but accidentally taking into my Hand that Ingenious Discourse written by Sanctorius, I was resolved to direct my self by a Scheme of Rules, which I had collected from his Observations. The Learned World are very well acquainted with that Gentleman's Invention; who, for the better carrying on of his Experiments, contrived a certain Mathematical Chair, which was so Artifically hung upon Springs, that it would weigh any thing as well as a Pair of Scales. By this means he discovered how many Ounces of his Food pass'd by Perspiration, what quantity of it was turned into Nourishment, and how much went away by the other Channels and Distributions of Nature. Having provided myself with this Chair, I used to Study, Eat, Drink, and Sleep in it; insomuch that I may be said, for these three last Years, to have lived in a Pair of Scales. I compute my self, when I am in full Health, to be precisely Two Hundred Weight, falling short of it about a Pound after a Day's Fast, and exceeding it as much after a very full Meal; so that it is my continual Employment, to trim the Ballance between these two Volatile Pounds in my Constitution. In my ordinary Meals I fetch my self up to two Hundred Weight and a half pound; and if after having dined I find my self fall short of it, I drink just so much Small Beer, or eat such a quantity of Bread, as is sufficient to make me weight. In my greatest Excesses I do not transgress more than the other half Pound; which, for my Healths sake, I do the first Monday in every Month. As soon as I find my self duly poised after Dinner, I walk till I have perspired five Ounces and four Scruples; and when I discover, by my Chair, that I am so far reduced, I fall to my Books, and Study away three Ounces more. As for the remaining Parts of the Pound, I keep no account of them. I do not dine and sup by the Clock, but by my Chair, for when that informs me my Pound of Food is exhausted I conclude my self to be hungry, and lay in another with all Diligence. In my Days of Abstinence I lose a Pound and an half, and on solemn Fasts am two Pound lighter than on other Days in the Year.
I allow my self, one Night with another, a Quarter of a Pound of Sleep within a few Grains more or less; and if upon my rising I find that I have not consumed my whole quantity, I take out the rest in my Chair. Upon an exact Calculation of what I expended and received the last Year, which I always register in a Book, I find the Medium to be two hundred weight, so that I cannot discover that I am impaired one Ounce in my Health during a whole Twelvemonth. And yet, Sir, notwithstanding this my great care to ballast my self equally every Day, and to keep my Body in its proper Poise, so it is that I find my self in a sick and languishing Condition. My Complexion is grown very sallow, my Pulse low, and my Body Hydropical. Let me therefore beg you, Sir, to consider me as your Patient, and to give me more certain Rules to walk by than those I have already observed, and you will very much oblige
Your Humble Servant.'
This Letter puts me in mind of an Italian Epitaph written on the Monument of a Valetudinarian; Stavo ben, ma per star Meglio, sto qui: Which it is impossible to translate.
In answer to the Gentleman, who tempers his Health by ounces and by Scruples, and instead of complying with those natural Sollicitations of Hunger and Thirst, Drowsiness or Love of Exercise, governs himself by the Prescriptions of his Chair, I shall tell him a short Fable. Jupiter, says the Mythologist, to reward the Piety of a certain Country-man, promised to give him whatever he would ask. The Country-man desired that he might have the Management of the Weather in his own Estate: He obtained his Request, and immediately distributed Rain, Snow, and Sunshine, among his several Fields, as he thought the Nature of the Soil required. At the end of the Year, when he expected to see a more than ordinary Crop, his Harvest fell infinitely short of that of his Neighbours: Upon which (says the fable) he desired Jupiter to take the Weather again into his own Hands, or that otherwise he should utterly ruin himself.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
To Boy in My "Cohort" Who Feels Always Already Othered by Everything I Say
I'm sorry that, in my affected critique of Aijaz Ahmad's affective critique of Jameson's theory of "(third) world literature," I insisted on saying "AAAAAAAmad" instead of "ACCCHHHHmad," and on making jokes to the effect of "why all the affect, Aijaz?", but languages have different phonologies, and, as you sneered to a sympathetic ear in the hall, "at least [I] didn't say he was gay." At least you made me bracket my "I"!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Girl at Gym
"Wouldn't it be great if you could read on a real bike?"
A: No, real bikes have too high a resistance to reading (esp. on hills).
A: No, real bikes have too high a resistance to reading (esp. on hills).
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Poetic function
Ever since I've begun wearing a pair of Nikes subtly tinged with a pink perimeter, and realized that my liking for Nyks is at work in identity as well as in desire, I've done nothing but project the principle of equivalence from the axis of selection to the axis of combination.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
To the Aphids All Over My Potted Parsley
You aren't even eating it! Why are you making my Thoreauvian idyll so hard?!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Protein Shake
Cup of cold Throat Coat
Heaping heap of hemp (protein)
Spritz of spirulina
Several stalks celery
Leaves of kale
Persimmon (for piquancy)
Some other soft feminine fruit
Nibbles of cacao (an unniggardly amount)
Blend until blended.
Chef's note: Absolutely disgusting. Recommend omitting protein.
Heaping heap of hemp (protein)
Spritz of spirulina
Several stalks celery
Leaves of kale
Persimmon (for piquancy)
Some other soft feminine fruit
Nibbles of cacao (an unniggardly amount)
Blend until blended.
Chef's note: Absolutely disgusting. Recommend omitting protein.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)